15 Reasons to Own a Dog

1. They're cute. Duh.

2. The make the most excellent listeners. They rarely talk back and they don't care if you cuss or cry.

3. Clothes. Don't judge me. Dog clothes are insanely cute and dogs in clothes are cuter.

4. They will always be your best friend. No matter what you do, short of beating them to death or pawning them off on someone else, they will always be faithful.

5. They're dumber than soup. So many dogs are just down right stupid, and it's hilarious.

6. Going along with #5, they will make you laugh uncontrollably, on a particularly funny day, they may even make you laugh until you piss your pants.

7. Names! What is cuter than a dog named Sgt. Kill You With Cuteness?! NOTHING I tell you, NOTHING! Plus, you can call them just about anything and they'll answer you. There was a time when I was playing around and called my mom's dog Microwave (His name is Cherokee) and he came running to me like he knew it was his name. My dog is Rascal, he answers to Asshole (no joke, I have a video to prove it), Roscoe, Booga, among other names.

8. Cheaper and less nerve wracking than having a baby. Unless you have my dog. Then you need to set up baby sitters and everything.

9. Exercise. I promise you, if you have a dog that is full of energy, you won't ever have a chance to catch your breath and they will keep you active.

10. Guy/Chick magnets. There is nothing sexier than a man (in some of y'all's cases, woman) who is pet friendly. There's just something hot about someone who takes care of an animal.

11. It's like having your own kid. Seriously, for those who haven't been blessed with having a child, a dog is like an extension of that. You care for them, feed them, bathe them, love them, the works.

12. Car rides! Oh, yes, they will add an extra 1,000% of awesomeness to your vehicle and you don't have to trick the car out.

13. Home Security! No one is getting into your home without you knowing. They are going to make as much noise as possible to let you know there is someone there who doesn't belong.

14. Better than an imaginary friend for your child. C'mon, you can see it, you know it exists and it won't make you think that your child has too many issues.

And finally 15. *drum roll please*